I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My bed smells like the plague
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
