Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Randomize
