O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
