I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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