brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize