I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
