I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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