that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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