i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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