i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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