She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
