I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
