Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
