She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
