Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
