He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
