Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There are leaves in my underwear?
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