I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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