Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
