the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
