Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize