He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
