You made me cry and you don't even care
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We talked him into tasing himself.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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