and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
