Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
