Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
