You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
