Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
