She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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