I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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