You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
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You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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