I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
