We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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