So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
