In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have fence marks all over my body
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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