Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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