nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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