What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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