Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
