Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Fuck appropriateness.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
