I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
smell my finger.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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