Don't you send me to vm
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
