I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize