Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize