I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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