There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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