Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
