Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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