Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
