im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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