how can u be prego again
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it glows. i had to have it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
