hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
