no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
