i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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