me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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