My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
