Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize