Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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