You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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