Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
