he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize