I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
