waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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