I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize