he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
as a side note pls kill me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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