I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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